My mother and I do not talk. It goes beyond me being gay. It may have started out that way, but it goes beyond that now. My mom lives in a constant state of bitterness, regret, anger, hate, sorrow and lives on lies after lies after lies. She's almost destroyed my sister and I's financial credit. We lived under emotional abuse and physical abuse as we were growing up. She did sacrifice for us, but in the end she did more harm to us than good. She recently suffered a mild stroke, but is okay now. She also recently lost the house sometime ago, but my sister and I did not know that until the other day. All she ever brings to me and my sister is worry, fear and sometimes threats.
Last year when my mom and I were still talking she needed a car, but was unable to get one in her name so she asked me to help. I knew, I just knew if I did not help she would suffer. What was I suppose to do? Turn the other way? How could I do that? I also knew if I helped her I would suffer consequences. I haven't talked to my mom since June. The bank finally got a hold of me to find out why I haven't made a payment since June. I explained the situation. I am thankful that I talked to a very understanding lady at the bank and is trying to work with me.
Anyway, I had to call my mother up and confront her with this situation. I did not want to. It was then that she told me she lost the house and suffered a stroke. I know my mom very well. She tries to play on my emotions so I can feel sorry for her and bend to her will, but not this time. I got straight to the point and asked where was the car because the bank called. She still has it. I told her she needs to pay the last few months (which is $900.00) or give the car back. I also exaggerated and said that if she doesn't do either by the end of next week the bank is going into legalities against me. Which of course in time they would, but that is not in the near future. She said she would pay the payments on Monday, tomorrow.
I called the bank up and explained the situation. So we have to let this play out until tomorrow. I am unsure that my mom will actually pay the payments. If she does not, I will talk to the bank and find out what is the next step. Which is likely to surrender the car.
The trick is having to get the car away from my mother. Will she give it back willingly? If she does not, I will have to file a police report against her to get my back.
How can I explain more how my mother is, or has been like. She can be a very violent person. She basically lives the motto: if I can't have it neither will you.
I wish I had never helped my mom get this car. Now I will suffer financially because of her. If I have to surrender the car to her, I will have a repo on my credit and whatever balance left on the car will be against me. This is another example of how my mom continually ruins my life with no thought other than herself.
I have prayed and prayed for a peaceful resolution. I am asking for prayers. I either need my mom to pay up or give me back the car peacefully without violence. PLEASE pray. My mom does not have God in her life and lives in a constant state of instability.
She's threatened my sister with kidnapping my sisters daughter before. She's slashed tired and smashed windows of my first boyfriends car. She's tried to get me fired in previous jobs out of vengeance. She's come at me with sharp objects before and she's always looking for a way to get revenge against anyone and everyone.
Please, I am asking for prayers that the problem with the car will be resolved in my favor. I truly need God to intervene.
Steve
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Lamentation 3:24 The Lord is all I have, and so in him I put my hope.
We ask you to please forgive Steve's mom of her self-destructive selfish ways, and to save her from her sins, for she is obviously a prisoner of sin and of her dark self. Help Steve get out of his financial mess. Please give him what he needs to take care of whatever problems that will arise because of his mom's "lifestyle". Be with him and his family as they weather this storm that the enemy has launched against their souls through this poor woman. Use this opportunity to help her come to her senses and to turn from her sinfulness, and unto your Son, Jesus. For in His precious name, I pray. Amen.
I hope that peace and strength will come from God and unto you and your sister during this trial of your love for your wayward mom.
I'm praying for you, and your situation. I wish I had the words to say to take away the hurt, and frustration...if only I weren't human, ya know?
Please update us as to what is happening. If you would like to, call me. Or text. I'm here for ya.
*hugs* Darrel
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That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
There is no other word to use other than "toxic". I would stay as far away from your mother as possible. In fact, to be bluntly honest, "disown" her. As harsh as that sounds, Steve, you and your family have no other recourse at this point. If you do anything to help her she will ruin you in the end as you have stated. She's on her own at this point.
I would contact the bank and make sure the car payments have been made, if not, talk to the bank about the next steps ensuring that the car situation does not harm your credit if at all possible. I pray it doesn't. Meanwhile, protect yourself. If your mother threatens you, note it and contact the police if need be, explaining your history and your current history with her.
In the meantime, please, don't do anything to help her ever again until she seeks treatment of some kind, and tell her this. Tell her that under NO circumstances will you contact her, help her, do anything for her until she provides valid proof to you and others that she is receiving counseling for her toxic behavior, and stick to that.
I'm so sorry this happens to you, of all people, you're the nicest, kindest, most accepting and one of the most colorful people on here!
I'm glad to hear that your situation has been resolved.
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Be yourself!!! Don't try to fit into someone else's mold, you won't fit!!! And that just leads to utter misery!!! Live life to it's fullest in Christ's love every day!!!
