It's hard to be the butt of jokes when the person you want to make fun of is present. Or at least that is my conclusion.
Gathered around during lunch, as I am often forced to eat with my coworkers with bad table manners mind you (but that is not the point). I got a good look first hand how these guys love to take a stab at someone who is not there.
My only truly accepting co-worker, Marlin, was not there because he's stationed somewhere else for now. But I was witness to jokes surrounding Marlin and his father today and it was quite sad. Sad on two counts. First, sad because though Marlin enjoys our friendship, he enjoys the friendship of these other guys too but does not realize how he had become nothing but an easy target. Second, it's sad to see these men act so weak and despicable, such a lack of disrespect not just towards Marlin, but to themselves.
I thought about it and wondered if this is how they talked about me when I am not around. And without sounding arrogant, without sounding like I am better than them, I realized that if this is how they laugh at me calling me fag and various other names I won't mention then I was really making a mountain out of a mole hill. Their childish, two face talk has about the same fire power as a preschool child has when he tells off a grown up.
Their cruel joke about me is nothing more than them putting their hands to their heads and sticking out their tongues. Their words no longer care the weight of rocks as I thought. Let them call me whatever they want.
Nevertheless, I ask for further prayer. Maybe God put in that place so I can see how they are and how futile it is for me to worry about such things. I still ask for prayers to continue to receive clarity and strength and to practice compassion and kindness while I continue to work with these men. I have prayed for them hoping that they would tame their tongues and I have forgiven them for every foul thing they have said about me.
Please keep me in your prayers.
Steve
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Lamentation 3:24 The Lord is all I have, and so in him I put my hope.
I'm glad you are at a point where their taunts don't bother you. But when I read your post, I had a thought. Maybe you are being called to stand up for what is right. As in, defend Marlin when he's not there to defend himself. Or to answer their comments about him with some word of praise for Marlin. That's just a guess on my part!
I've really gotten into Dr. Wayne Dyer and his teachings, and one of the biggest things I get from what he teaches is that we get back from the universe what we put out in the universe. I can't tell you what that means for you, but it is something to think about.
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Grace is the acceptance of that which is rejected. ~Paul Tillich
Maybe you are being called to stand up for what is right. As in, defend Marlin when he's not there to defend himself. Or to answer their comments about him with some word of praise for Marlin. That's just a guess on my part!
I thought about that too. But Marlin still thinks of them as his friends too. I worry if I do, or did say anything, how would Marlin see it? They are in contact with Marlin daily, not me and they hang out on weekends together. Hard to defend someone whose friends are also his bullies. Think of it this way, in elementry (or high school) there was always the dorky student who wanted to hang out with the tough guys, even at the expense of being laughed at, just as long as he was included. Unfortunately, Marlin is the same way. I think he may see what is going on, but laughs it off as long as he's included. To be honest, I'm still amazed he is my friend (when is he stationed with me).
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Lamentation 3:24 The Lord is all I have, and so in him I put my hope.
