She did the usual "you're going to hell" stuff. She said that she guessed that "all my kids are goin' to hell"...and all the rest of the dramatic stuff. She didn't cry, nor have a heart attack...YET! But I am thankful that she didn't have a massive coronary.
However, she DID say that she wanted me to stop talking with you guys. No big surprise there. She says that she wished that I had NEVER gotten the internet...that it has RUINED the whole country. I think that she's just in the shock/denial/anger phase of accepting my homosexuality. She says that she won't come to the chat room, neither tonight or any other night. She's mad...
But, DANG IT, I CAN'T HELP IT! This is what I am! I have TRIED for DECADES to go straight, but NOTHING has worked...and for some reason God keeps saying "no" whenever I begged Him to change me. So there must be SOME reason for why I am gay. She says that I just need to stop BELIEVEING that I'm gay. I asked her how. She said that she didn't know.
This is going to be a VERY rough ride ahead of me on this. I told her not to tell anyone else yet...but I know her. She is going to tell my sister the first chance that she gets, and then she's going to threaten me that if I don't "straighten up" (like as if I COULD!), that she is going to keep Rebecca away from me. She'll say that I am a immoral influence on her (like her foul-mouthed daddy ISN'T?) and all that other junk that bigots love to say.
If you think that my family will EVER see the light about this...let me break that hope right now: THEY ARE PROUD OF THEIR HATE! They LOVE using words like "****" to call black people. They think that all Mexicans and "foreigners" should "go back to where they came from". And if you think that it's just a "Republican thing", guess again. I don't know a day when my sister says that she wished that someone would SHOOT BUSH. They are just crazy with hatred and bitterness, and there are times that I truly believe that the reason why God made me gay was because He wanted SOMEONE in my family to have at least a "Sodomite's" chance of going to heaven when they die!
My family, to this day, still thinks that being "good enough" will get you into heaven. And THAT isn't even IN the Bible! Oh they KNOW where the anti-gay stuff is at...but when you try to show them that Moses was married to a black woman, and that Sodom wasn't destroyed for being "too gay" (that's in Ezekiel)...they just roll their eyes up into their head and say "WHATEVER!"
They don't care about the bible...I have only seen my MOTHER ever read from one OUTSIDE of a church! I, the "hellbound sinner", on the other hand absolutely LOVE to read and study the bible...they have even gotten after me for reading it, at least to them, TOO MUCH! Now tell me, does someone who ISN'T save likes to do THAT?!
Well...here I am...on the outside of the closet door.
It feels GOOD! I don't care what ANYONE does to me...I am NOT going back in! I am going to keep talking with you guys. I am going to stand my ground. And I am going to start going to other places and meet and talk with OTHER gay men.
And if any of my family is reading this...please...for your own sake...
GROW UP AND STOP USING GOD'S BOOK AS A BASEBALL BAT!!!
My name is Jeffrey Dean Williams. I live in Danville, Kentucky. And I am gay, and proud to be it!
CONGRATS!!! Wow...I know this is such a huge step for you! I am really proud of you Jeffrey! I will continue to be praying that God will make the transition a smooth one, and that your family will love you for who you are! Once again, I am so proud of you! Great big hugs! David :)
Thanks, friends! I am very blessed to have you guys support me like this!
My situation WILL get better. I have faith that it will. My family is very dysfunctional, but they know me well enough that when I say that there is something that I can't do, then they see that I MEAN it. My mom has decided to stay here in this neighborhood. One of the women in her Sunday school class told her that drugs are EVERYWHERE anymore! So you really can't get away from them. I have decided to stay with her and help take care of her. Maybe I can be a good witness to her and show her that God really does work in the lives of gay people! It won't be easy...but the hard part is FINALLY over!
Who knows? Maybe my homosexuality will be what helps get my family back onto the right track with God again!
You and your family will be in my prayers. It is very hard to hear negative comments come from loved ones. We can only pray that the anger your mom is feeling will change to understanding. I am glad I came out to my mom, sisters, and close friends. It has helped my mom and sister get closer to god, something my family has need for such a long time. While they all say they love me they are still praying that God take this away from me. I understand where they are coming from considering I was there only a year ago but it still hurts.
I am very proud you were able to say "I am gay" ( I think it is still hard for me to say sometimes). I hope and pray that this will bring your family closer to God.
Jeffrey, Jeffrey... Good going, dude. Keep your chin up. It's a huge step to take, ya know???? I'm with you. I'll PM you my phone number if you ever need to vent, and feel like things are too tough on you. *hugs* Darrel
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That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
i think you've been through the toughest part...coming out to yourself. yes. it will look up. it's a process tho. so take care. bring us friends along with you for the ride...
Jeffrey, I am so happy for you that you came out and freed yourself. The initial, hard step and most important step has been acomplished. A round of applause:
You and your family are in my prayers!!!!
Steve!
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Lamentation 3:24 The Lord is all I have, and so in him I put my hope.
Sorry I am so late to post here and have been concerned about what happened Sunday. I'm happy to see that you made it. As it has been said it will be a rough ride, but I bet a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. Step one to really accept God's love by being honest with your self, and accepting whole heartedly who you are and loving yourself, inspite of others.
Although others will quote all the clobber passages (), consider when they were written and for whom they were written and those were the laws the Jews had to live by for salvation. Jesus saved us with Grace, so the old laws have been thrown out. Don't let anyone "rain on your parade" by putting their values on you and making you have self doubt about you and your relationship with God. ()
My prayers are for you as you continue to come out.
I don't care what ANYONE does to me...I am NOT going back in! I am going to keep talking with you guys. I am going to stand my ground. And I am going to start going to other places and meet and talk with OTHER gay men.
It won't be easy...but the hard part is FINALLY over!
), consider when they were written and for whom they were written and those were the laws the Jews had to live by for salvation. Jesus saved us with Grace, so the old laws have been thrown out. Don't let anyone "rain on your parade" by putting their values on you and making you have self doubt about you and your relationship with God. (
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