I am going to be consecrating/celebrating communion next weekend and I want to tie in the scripture readings for the week.
Quote: John 20:19-31 19On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" 20After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord. 21Again Jesus said, "Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you." 22And with that he breathed on them and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit. 23If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven."
Jesus Appears to Thomas 24Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. 25So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!" But he said to them, "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it." 26A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" 27Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe."
28Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!"
29Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."
30Jesus did many other miraculous signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book. 31But these are written that you may[a] believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.
"Doubting Thomas"
I've been meditating about this text a lot... What was Thomas really thinking? Was he weak? Was he cynical? Was he untrusting?
During the Good Friday service, something profound struck me.
I saw Thomas as incredibly devoted to Jesus... he had spent the last few years eating, drinking & sleeping with Him... following Him... listening to every word He said...
And he had to watch his beloved friend be tortured and executed.
In this text we see a man who's heart has been broken at the loss of his Teacher. And now this same Teacher who was brutalized & killed is standing before him.
Thomas had to know, beyond any doubt, that this was Jesus. He couldn't take the new heartbreak of believing that this really was Jesus, only to find out this was a ghost or spirit... or a joke or an imposter...
I began to see Thomas as a man who was so traumatized by the crucifixion that he had very little hope of the resurrection and when Jesus was standing there, face-to-face, it was still hard to believe after the horror he had witnessed.
In those moments I began to have compassion for Thomas. And unexpectedly, I began to see myself in him.
I have been through a lot in the past few years. My faith has been shaken, dismantled, and at times evaporated. I've questioned everything. And slowly, I've begun to put the pieces back together. I've learned a lot. I've come to the realization that I am unsure or simply don't believe in much of the faith I grew up with... from sexuality to the virgin birth. I feel like I was only given about half of the puzzle pieces and told to make a complete picture with them. In my opinion, it just doesn't work. Something was missing.
While I have doubted many of the stories and traditions I grew up with, I have also been experiencing an upswell in my faith in God. I have become more and more certain of God's love, of God's presence in my life. And I am feeling a very strong call to the ministry.
Even still, as I was sitting in the empty sanctuary, looking up at the cross, I began to think I was feeling what Thomas was going through: I don't really know if I believe in the resurrection.
If I don't believe in the resurrection... then what am I doing in church? What am I doing in ministry? If the resurrection didn't happen, what does this mean for Christianity?
"Stop doubting and believe."
That's what Jesus told Thomas.
I've realized that what I've been doing these last few days is letting my doubts and uncertainties override my beliefs.
I believe that God is love. Completely. I believe that we are called to love God with all of our beings and to love our neighbors, friends and enemies as we love ourselves. I believe Jesus revealed the true nature of God to us. I believe that the epiphany of understanding and accepting God's love can be a transforming, life-changing experience for people. I call myself a Christian because I relate to God through Christ. His life, words and actions speak to my heart and compel me to live my life doing everything I can to be like Him.
That is why I am in ministry.
Yes, I have questions, doubts & uncertainties about the stories and traditions of my faith history. And I know I have committed my life to learning and growing... to seeking those answers. But even if the answers never come, the foundation of my beliefs is set in my heart.
Quote: John 20:29 Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."
If any of you have insights into Thomas, I'd love to hear them!
-- Edited by nateblack at 10:39, 2006-04-17
__________________
Perfect love casts out fear. God is love. Anything else is a lie.
It's interesting that you should bring this topic up because I was thinking to myself how sometimes I'm strong with faith and hope in God and then other times I'm such a doubting Thomas when I know I shouldn't be.
However, when I feel like a doubting Thomas, I often think that Satan must be trying to derail me because if I wasn't on the right path. When I pray about something or plan to do something and then I feel Satan's fiery darts of doubt start to hit me I tell myself that I must be going down the right path that I must be doing what God wants me to do or and this doubting Thomas feeling is just one of Satan's strategy to stop me.
Make sense?
__________________
Lamentation 3:24 The Lord is all I have, and so in him I put my hope.
The way I look at it is that the enemy would hope that making you doubt something would cause you to doubt everything. ... and that your life would become a wreck as a result.
"The thief comes to steal, kill & destory, but I have come that you might have life... life more amazing and abundant than you ever dreamed of." -- Jesus
__________________
Perfect love casts out fear. God is love. Anything else is a lie.
What you guys are talking about reminds me of what I just read last night in Rick Warren's The Purpose-Driven Life:
To mature your friendship, God will test it with periods of seeming separation-times when it feels as if he has abandoned or forgotten you. God feels a million miles away...The truth is, there's nothing wrong with you! This is a normal part of the testing and maturing of your friendship with God. Every Christian goes through it at least once, and usually several times. It is painful and disconcerting, but it is absolutely vital for the development of your faith...Yes, he wants you to sense his presence, but he's more concerned that you trust him than that you feel him. Faith, not feelings, pleases God.
I agree with this COMPLETELY! The times that I FELT that God had abandoned me (years of abuse, times of sickness, days of dark depression) were the times that he was the CLOSEST to me...and was building me up to make me more and more like his Son, Jesus. These were the times that God's hand was upon me the most sure. It just took faith to hold on to his love and his word.
