One-minute story

Chris · Why can't my life be more like the Ainulindalë?

RE: One-minute story

24 fan tim · Live long and prosper.

still tangled in his hair!!! Robert screamed like a little girl as he was dragged back behind the garage.

Julie-ra regathered her composure and turned to face the Can-candy monster standing before her

Chris · Why can't my life be more like the Ainulindalë?

alongside the gourd monster.

"WHERE DID YOU COME FROM??!?!?" Julie-Ra demanded. But the monsters just laughed in a gurgly, fishy, vegetably way. With a squeak, the gourd rushed Julie-Ra, who with one

24 fan tim · Live long and prosper.

swipe of her sword, cut the gourd in half. While the two halves of the gourd spun side by side on the pavement, Julie-ra approached the Can-candy beast and

Chris · Why can't my life be more like the Ainulindalë?

held her sword aloft so as to strike again. But just as she prepared to cleave the monster in twain, Candy-Candy's bloated fish face shrank to normal size.

Candy-Candy collapsed on the f

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-loor, unconscious. Julie-ra ran over to Can-candy to see if she was still alive. Seeing that she was still breathing, she picked her up and carried

Chris · Why can't my life be more like the Ainulindalë?

her over to her pegasus, which was waiting in the yard outside. Julie-Ra slapped the pegasus on the rump, and it flew away with Candy-Candy, back to the castle.

"I hope I did the right thing," Julie-Ra

24 fan tim · Live long and prosper.

thought to herself.

"Now on to defeat the giant Vegi-creatures"

Julie-ra headed out into the

Chris · Why can't my life be more like the Ainulindalë?

backyard to look for more veggies. As she ran, a huge shadow loomed up in front of her.

"STOP THERE, JULIE-RA!!!" a voice boomed. Julie-Ra recognized it at once-

"KRANKEL!!!!" She

phil_of_va · [Probably] Gother Than Thou

exclaimed in utter delight as Krankel became THOR, THE CHIEFTAIN OF THE NORDIC PANTHEON!!! Overwhelmed with emotion, she rushed to his side to combat the evil forces of

Chris · Why can't my life be more like the Ainulindalë?

the evil Flora Brigade.

Thor brandishing his hammer, and Julie-Ra with her sword of love & justice, ran down the driveway and out into the night in search of more monsters to exterminate! About halfway into town, Thor noticed a

24 fan tim · Live long and prosper.

n abandoned car sitting on the side of the road. She recognized it as belonging to her boyfriend, Billy.

"Now what is Billy's car doing sitting out here

Chris · Why can't my life be more like the Ainulindalë?

in the middle of nowhere?!?" Julie-Ra approached the car, but Thor stopped her.

"Look, Julie-Ra!" He whispered. Julie-Ra then noticed the car rocking back and forth ever so slightly. WHen they looked in the window,

24 fan tim · Live long and prosper.

they were shocked to find the car filled with hundreds of small living fruit creatures. Julie-ra screamed in spite of herself and leaned back against Thor and

Chris · Why can't my life be more like the Ainulindalë?

bit her fist, like in an old 50s movie. Thor was thinking more rationally, though, so in stead of freaking out, he looked around them. Nearby there was nothing but an old gas station. Thor went over to the pump and loo

24 fan tim · Live long and prosper.

ked around for some kind of container to put some gas into. He was determined that these infant fiut mutants would not mature into killing machines. The only th

phil_of_va · [Probably] Gother Than Thou

ing left to do then was the obvious:

FRUIT SALAD

Thor, with his hammer, and Julie-Ra, with her sword, converted the immature fruit mutants into

24 fan tim · Live long and prosper.

bite sized chunks of fresh fruit. After completing their task, Thor and Julie-ra ran from the scene and headed for the city, where reports

phil_of_va · [Probably] Gother Than Thou

of Odin, Baldur and Freya have formed a death metal band and are doing a concert in the city center in honor of the invisible children of Uganda!

Thor's the lead singer and was late to his own

Chris · Why can't my life be more like the Ainulindalë?

funeral! He was so behind in his obligations- he had to leave Julie-Ra to deal with the chopped-up fruit! She was so mad, she took the

Chris · Why can't my life be more like the Ainulindalë?

mushed-up fruit crap to the front door of Thor's castle and started flinging it at the walls, defacing his beautiful home.

When that was done, Julie returned to her own Julie-Ra castle in the clouds to check on Candy-Candy's de-monstering treatm

24 fan tim · Live long and prosper.

ents.

When she arrived, she found the castle in a state of disarray. There were fruit pieces all over the courtyard and she could hear soft sobs coming from within the castle itself.

Chris · Why can't my life be more like the Ainulindalë?

Julie-Ra didn't sense any danger, but she drew her sword anyway. As she neared the "magic room," Julie-Ra heard the sobbing getting louder. She peered into the magic room. There, behind the largest crystal ball, w

24 fan tim · Live long and prosper.

as the ugliest creature she had ever seen. It was grey skinned and had a large pointed nose. It was dressed in a bright r

Chris · Why can't my life be more like the Ainulindalë?

-ed set of hot pants, with a sequined smily face across the butt. The monster was crying to itself in a surprisingly human voice for such a hideous creature.

Julie-Ra waited to hear if it would say anything or do anything to reveal whether it were evil

phil_of_va · [Probably] Gother Than Thou

when all of a sudden it transformed into Hugh Jackman!!! Now the story turned a delightfully sexy tone now that Julie

Chris · Why can't my life be more like the Ainulindalë?

found herself falling into Hugh Jackman's arms! He caressed her hair and spoke sweet nothings to her, lulling her into a deep, dreary sleep.

Suddenly Julie-Ra jumped and snapped back to her senses- but it was too late!!! The room was dark, and she was totally alone. Julie-Ra felt for her sword, but it

24 fan tim · Live long and prosper.

was nowhere to be found. She was all alone, in a pitch black room, with no weapons at her disposal. What was she to do? Who would come to her rescue? Is this the end?

Fro

Chris · Why can't my life be more like the Ainulindalë?

'Licious, a local drag queen in the town, was just going about her business one day when she heard the superheroine Julie-Ra had mysteriously disappeared. It was on the news.

"No WAY!!! I've gotta help Julie-Ra!!" Fro'Licious said to

Chris · Why can't my life be more like the Ainulindalë?

her dressmaker.

"Oh Fro'Licious you'll never succeed." The dressmaker said. "This will be just like the time you swore you'd rescue Bill Cosby from Felicia Rishad's giant man-eating hairdo."

"NO!"