I'm a 40 yr old, bi-married man, with a supportive wife and three great kids.
I recently revealed to my wife not only my past history of sexual abuse (as a boy/teen) but also my gay/bi lifestyle prior to meeting and marrying her. It was my "big secret" for 18+ years but now I've finally trusted her with "all of me." I also shared that I have continuing same-sex attractions which are intensifying as I get older.
She's handling it well so far. But it raises so many questions for her. Do I really find her attractive? Will I keep finding her attractive? Will my same-sex attractions keep intensifying ... etc.?
I have no answers but shared a quote I saw somewhere - "I fell in love with a person, not a gender." In other words, I may not have been looking for a women to fall in love with almost 20 years ago, but I DID ... and I love her more deeply today than ever and want to spend the rest of my life with her. My intent and desire is to be absolutely faithful to my marriage covenant.
Also, I am a Christian minister in a non-denominational/evangelical church. This puts an added wrinkle or two in things (ha).
Glad I found this little group. Hope to get to know you all better.
Be yourself!!! Don't try to fit into someone else's mold, you won't fit!!! And that just leads to utter misery!!! Live life to it's fullest in Christ's love every day!!!
Hi there! Welcome! Growing up, my dad was a pastor of a small evangelical church. I can imagine how difficult this whole situation is for you and for your wife. I wish you the best.
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Going cold turkey isn't nearly as delicious as it sounds - Homer Simpson.
Welcome! I'm so glad you found us. You will find a wonderful group of supportive and loving friends here. This is a place where you are free to be the person God created. Whatever that means!
Please make yourself at home and remember that we are all here for you!
Mama Lisa
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Grace is the acceptance of that which is rejected. ~Paul Tillich
I am finding this a soft place to land. I don't have too many people (besides my wife and therapist) who I can confide in. Makes it difficult to keep it all bottled up inside, ya know?
