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Post Info TOPIC: Things to do at Wal-Mart when your friends and family take their sweet time
Krypto


Mighty Morphin Prayer Warrior

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Things to do at Wal-Mart when your friends and family take their sweet time
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Things to do at Wal-Mart when your friends and family take their sweet time


1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.


2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at a 10 minute intervals.


3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the restroom.


4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone and say "I think we have a code 3 in housewares" and see what happens.


5. Put some M&M's on layaway.


6. Move CAUTION WET FLOOR signs to carpeted areas.


7. Set up a tent in camping department and tell others you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from bedding department.


8. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "why don't you people leave me alone?"


9. Look right into the securtiy camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.


10. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible.


11. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.


12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.


13. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through whisper "pick me, pick me!"


14. When an announcement comes over the intercom assume the fetal position and scream "NO NO It's those voices again!"


15. Go to the fitting room and yell out "Hey were out of toilet paper in here!"



-- Edited by Mama Lisa at 18:33, 2006-03-10

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Lamentation 3:24 The Lord is all I have, and so in him I put my hope.
Mama Lisa


He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart. Isaiah 40:11

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I love these, Steve!  (By the way, don't tell anyone but I corrected your spelling!)

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phil_of_va


[Probably] Gother Than Thou

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Gorgeous day tomorrow, Wal-Mart down the street, nothing to do..



Phil



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Anonymous

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Here's one you can try when you're in Sam's Club:


Dress in your GAYEST outfit (preferably something in black leather), fill your shopping cart with those huge gallon jars of mayonaise, go up to the Layaway desk and tell the clerk that you want to put these on layaway until the day before the "parade in my part of the neighborhood".


Jeffrey



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Mama Lisa


He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart. Isaiah 40:11

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Phil, I want a complete report when you get back!  And I LOVE the avatar.  You are a nut!!

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Grace is the acceptance of that which is rejected.
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Anonymous

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If you're in a Wal-Mart and bored...


Walk up to the manager and say, "I am Sam Walton's favorite grandson...AND YOU'RE FIRED!"


Jeffrey



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24 fan tim


Live long and prosper.

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Run from person to person asking "Have you seen my mommy?" and watch the expressions you get.  (remember I'm 36)

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Be yourself!!!  Don't try to fit into someone else's mold, you won't fit!!!  And that just leads to utter misery!!!  Live life to it's fullest in Christ's love every day!!!
phil_of_va


[Probably] Gother Than Thou

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Do as I do, just show up..



Phil



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TaterHead


Defender of Truth, Justice and the American GAY!

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Walk up to one of the store clerks and ask, "Where in the sweet name of Penelope are your nose-hair trimmers and rubbing alcohol?!"


And then run off laughing like Daffy Duck...


(by the way, Phil...YOU'RE CUTE! )



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Chris


Why can't my life be more like the Ainulindalė?

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Go to the ladies department and find the teeniest, tiniest thong in the smallest size. Pick it up and stretch it as far as it will go, remarking to yourself loudly:

"Oh, this will DEFINITELY fit."

(this is especially effective if you're a hefty guy like me)

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"I'd place myself... oh... somewhere between Galadriel and Peter Griffin."
24 fan tim


Live long and prosper.

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Ride around the store on a tricycle.  (saw a teen girl do this tonite at the Wal-mart)

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Be yourself!!!  Don't try to fit into someone else's mold, you won't fit!!!  And that just leads to utter misery!!!  Live life to it's fullest in Christ's love every day!!!
Chris


Why can't my life be more like the Ainulindalė?

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Call it "Wall Mart's"

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"I'd place myself... oh... somewhere between Galadriel and Peter Griffin."
nandapanda


Senior Member

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Why would I be in a Mallwart?

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itsmattie77


He's completely bonkers, but we love him anyway

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Don't Walmarts have their own congressional districts in them?

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A little bit bonkers, but we tolerate him anyway.
TaterHead


Defender of Truth, Justice and the American GAY!

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Walk up to a store manager and say, "Where are your butcher knives? I have a neighbor whose dog just won't stop barking, and my wife's family from Korea is coming in for a visit...which reminds me: do you have any of those aprons that say 'Kiss the Cook'?"

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With God, ALL things are possible...
phil_of_va


[Probably] Gother Than Thou

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TaterHead wrote:

Walk up to one of the store clerks and ask, "Where in the sweet name of Penelope are your nose-hair trimmers and rubbing alcohol?!" And then run off laughing like Daffy Duck... (by the way, Phil...YOU'RE CUTE! )

 


Drat! I'll have to try harder to scare people! ;)


Phil



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TaterHead


Defender of Truth, Justice and the American GAY!

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Run around in circles and keep shouting, "Has anyone seen my pet ALLIGATOR?"

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CaliPK


Senior Member

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Goths look different in DC than they do in LA!!

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Going cold turkey isn't nearly as delicious as it sounds - Homer Simpson.
TaterHead


Defender of Truth, Justice and the American GAY!

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Go over to the lobster tank wearing just a speedo and declare, "I shall succeed where David Blaine FAILED!"

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With God, ALL things are possible...
TaterHead


Defender of Truth, Justice and the American GAY!

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Grab the phone to the intercom and announce that Japan shipped in too many X-BOX 360's, and that they are now on sale for ONLY TWENTY DOLLARS...


...and watch the glorious bloodshed of the STAMPEDE!



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With God, ALL things are possible...
Chris


Why can't my life be more like the Ainulindalė?

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Tell one of the workers you want EVERY item off the top shelf of one of their really tall displays. Be firm. See if they will actually get it all down for you. If they don't, have fun pitching a big fit. If they do, you can always say "Oh... now that I see them all up close, they look kinda trashy. Thanks anyway." Then skip away, or if you're REALLY gutsy, ask them to do it again in another department.

-- Edited by Chris at 10:49, 2006-06-09

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"I'd place myself... oh... somewhere between Galadriel and Peter Griffin."
TaterHead


Defender of Truth, Justice and the American GAY!

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Go to the women's undergarments, hold up a pair of lacy thong underwear, and say in your best "redneck" voice, "DANG, Ethel! These here will make REAL GOOD SLINGSHOTS!"

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With God, ALL things are possible...
Chris


Why can't my life be more like the Ainulindalė?

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Set up a "kissing booth." If someone from the opposite sex approaches, shout "We don't TAKE YOUR KIND here!!!"

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"I'd place myself... oh... somewhere between Galadriel and Peter Griffin."
TaterHead


Defender of Truth, Justice and the American GAY!

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Walk up to the store manager and say:


"You know, that employee of yours, Jeffrey, is a REALLY smart and hard-working guy...Why don't you QUIT and give him YOUR job?"



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With God, ALL things are possible...
Chris


Why can't my life be more like the Ainulindalė?

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I took my car to the WM recently to get an oil change. When they told me it would take at least 2 HOURS, I started thinking about this thread, "What were the things people said to do? Hmm..."

Anyway I couldn't think of anything to do, so I walked to another store.

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"I'd place myself... oh... somewhere between Galadriel and Peter Griffin."
Mama Lisa


He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart. Isaiah 40:11

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Aw, Chris, you could have spent the time running up to people in the checkout line, waving embarrassing things like condoms, suppositories, or tampons, and shouting, "Hey lady, you dropped this!"

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