This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips toWal-mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring andpreferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loved to browse.Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the localWal-Mart. Dear Mrs. Samsel,
Over the past six months, your husband has beencausing quite a commotion in our store. We cannottolerate this behavior and have been forced to banboth of you from the store. Our complaints againstMr.Samsel are listed below and are documented by ourvideo surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people'scarts when they weren't looking.
2 . July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in Housewaresto go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floorleading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19:Walked up to an employee and told her inan official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on itright away.'
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried toput a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign toa carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the campingdepartment and told other shoppers he'd invite themin if they would bring pillows and blankets from thebedding department.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could helphim he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't youpeople just leave me alone?'
9. September 4: Looked right into the securitycamera and used it as a mirror while he picked hisnose. 10. September 10: While handling guns in the huntingdepartment,he asked the clerk where theantidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciouslywhile loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practicedhis 'Madonna look' by using different sizes offunnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and whenpeople browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over theloud speaker, he assumed a fetal position andscreamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least. 15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut thedoor, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey!There's no toilet paper in here."
What a hoot!!!!!!!! Loved the imagery of this anectdote!!!!! I'll have to try some of these when I'm bored!!!!!
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Be yourself!!! Don't try to fit into someone else's mold, you won't fit!!! And that just leads to utter misery!!! Live life to it's fullest in Christ's love every day!!!
