Hello; I figured I would re-introduce myself as Tiffany. I was invited to this site many moons ago by Jeffry and may be known to some of you as Samantha. Before that I was known as Sam/Samantha on another site until I stepped on someone's toes and got her mad. I gradually dropped Sam as it just didn't fit me being "me." Like most transgenders I grew up all messed up being a girl with a boy's body. That made quite an interesting childhood. Like always having to erase the checkmark in th "F" box on tests and feel the embarrassment of knowing that it still showed and the teacher would know I marked the "supposedly" wrong one. Some of the other joys of childhood were always having to catch myself as not to use the wrong restroom and such. The one I seemed to do the most were those sentences we had to read aloud in class as every kid took a turn. I always seemed to pick the girl's one. Like the sentences with "tear" and "tear." Rather than pick the sentence that said "he wouldn't shed a tear" I would always without thinking take the one that said "I hope I don't tear my new dress on that." That got the class laughing at my expense. I hated having to read in school. Most of my "macho" toys were just the (can't think of the right word) way we were in those days. Gender oriented I guess. Boys had cars and soldiers while girls had the dolls and Easy Bake ovens. I actually prefferred the girl's toys and played more with girls than boys. I really hated it when my mom made me join the baseball team. I wasn't any good either. I was the guy that was picked last when they said "do we have to take him?" Like most transgender girls I experimented with makeup and clothing as opportunity would arise. In those days it was forbidden for boys to be girly! I have posted on many sites since becoming self taught with a computer in 2005 or so. I have used various names and as a rule am hated by many for many reasons. Straight Christians hate me because I don't have any use for their "Jesus make me rich" foolishness or "you are somebody" garbage. Being an ex-trans has been a blessing but also has alienated me from many. The GLBT community is very protective from straight people that try to convert or judge and condemn them. I really don't blame them. When the straight people tried to convert me they ended angering me. This is mainly because the majority don't know what they are talking about or what they believe. Many wouldn't know Jesus if he manifested himself in the flesh and sat next to them on a pew. But then some have such strict clothesline doctrines he wouldn't be allowed in their churches. They'd call him a cross-dresser with his long hair and robe. I do enjoy sharing the word of God and try to avoid topics such as "are GLBT people going to hell" and such. I would rather share the things that glorify Jesus such as who he is and what he fulfilled rather than vain doctrines that haggle straight/gay/trans/clothing/sin areas. It took about 40 years for the Lord to heal me of being trans but that does not mean all will be healed of afflictions and infirmities. There are too many variables on that to go into. Not to mention I do not like getting into discussions that breed strife and possible hatred. Having said all of that, I am not even really sure now of days what I am. When I was healed I was getting ready to persue SRS and HRT. Tiffany Elise was the name I was using at the time I was healed. That would have been what I would have changed my name to. That is why I am grateful that Mama Lisa changed my screen name to Tiffany. Although I am healed Tiffany is a very real part of me that I lived in the closet for most of my life. She is a part of me that will always be remembered regardless of which direction the Lord leads me. She is a part that I cherish and the world calls sick and blasphemous. Deep down inside I probably lived more years as Tiffany in secret than as my outer self in day to day life. Sometimes I still find myself posting as a female. That doesn't bother me and sometimes feels more natural than as male. Some people get offended when I post using my female wording. But, to me it feels more natural to say "you know sweety, I think that you are right" than to say "you know; I think you are right." To me it just flows with my manner of speech but I have been told I angered a lot of people on "another site." There are still some things that I wear that some would call not quite right for a man. For instance, I never wear men's pants. Misses size 8 long fit better than any of the guys jeans and if was to be honest, in the winter thigh highs are just as warm as thurmal underwear without the hassle. I don't like fighting with them when using the restroom. I guess in conclusion I really don't know what or who I am although I know this: Jesus Christ is the only atoning Lamb of sacrifice that allowed man to shed his blood and break his precious body to make the atonement for our sins. It was he that walked perfect before Jehovah, God Almighty and arose the third day as the scriptures declared and ascended unto his Father. It was he that pleased God and not a one of us could. He ascended and sent back his Spirit to lead and guide his children into all truth which bears witness to his glory. It is that Spirit that will rightly divide the word of truth and bring salvation to as many as call upon his name. Why should I worry about whether or not I am transgender? That is but a small thing. As long as I love the Lord my God with all my heart and all my soul and all my strength and all my mind and my neighbor as myself I can agree with Paul who said "I know him in whom I believe and I am persuaded that he can keep that which I have committed unto him against that day."
