When I go to church and I see other Christians conversing and talking I can't help but admire the comradery that they share. I have been at my current church since January and even though I feel welcomed, I can't help but feel that I am still outside looking in. The teaching pastor knows I am gay and sits with me during service when he is at the 9AM service. The head pastor knows I am gay too. They both have welcomed me. Just recently, more people are shaking my hand and saying hi to me, but only in passing. Other than the head pastor and the teaching pastor, no one knows I am gay. Anyway, I desire to get together with other Christians and I don't care if they are gay or straight. I do not have the physical fellowship of get togethers and hanging out like the people do at my church. I was only invited once to a small group for single men, but alas, I am not single. I expressed a desire to join the small bible study group to the teaching pastor. He said he would pray about it and so will I. He was honest with me, which is what I like about him. He does not know how a small group would respond or react to allowing a gay Christian in their circle. Clearly he can't force them. I've been rejected at other churches before and I've been thrown stones at so many times and yet I keep trying to find fellowship with other Christians. Why do I keep putting myself through this, I don't know. All I know if that I have an urge to be with other Christians and have that comradery that I have never experienced. I get some of that here at GCN, but it isn't always enough. There is only so much I can get from an online group because it lacks the presence of being with others and there is no hugs and handshakes and smiles and talking and sharing Godly experiences face to face that I see so many other have. And any gathering in Texas are just too far for me to drive (especially with gas prices these days). I hate to sound so negative, but I feel I may be hoping for too much by seeking to join a small group at my church. I also know I cannot lie about who I am either. For the moment, I can only pray along with my teaching pastor.
Steve
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Lamentation 3:24 The Lord is all I have, and so in him I put my hope.
First of all, I know you meant to say "TSA", not GCN on this post!!
Second, it makes me really sad that your pastor "friend" has to pray about whether you would be welcome in a Bible study. Glad I'm not near his church, 'cause I might just have to put the fear of the Lord in him!!!
I hope you find what you are looking for. Do they have Sunday school classes? Any kind of small group setting is always best for getting to know people. It's hard to get to know someone when you only see them in passing on Sunday mornings. But it's hard to be a part of something when you don't feel welcome. I'll be praying for you!!
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Grace is the acceptance of that which is rejected. ~Paul Tillich
The more and more that I spend time in the Bible, the more that I want to share what I have with other Christians. Yes, I know that I haven't spent much time lately here at TSA, with you guys, but it's NOT because I don't like being with you guys...it's because I need and CRAVE actual physical contact with flesh and blood human beings, and less and less time in front of a TV set, watching a televangelist (believe it or not, there are actually SOME good ones on there!)
Also, I have been checking out what some of the other Christians on the other Christian blogsites have to say and...well...I think that they've spent so much time in the virtual world that they've TOTALLY lost a foot-hold within the REAL world! One guy on YouTube even called me a non-believer JUST because I was born gay and that I should stop trying to change because "God has given up" on me, and that I was going to hell EVEN IF I "changed"!
Steve, what you are showing is another wonderful sign of spiritual maturity: an honest and open fellowship with other believers in Christ...and NOT with "fakers" that SAY that they know Jesus, but their daily lives (especially their bigotry) proves otherwise.
I say go for it and reach out to other denominations and churches! You just let the Spirit lead you in the direction where you are feeling Him pull you towards.
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