How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatic: Only 1
Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostal: 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None
Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken .
Episcopalians: 3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Mormons: 5
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians:
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.
Nazarene: 6
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None
Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish:
What's a light bulb?
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Grace is the acceptance of that which is rejected. ~Paul Tillich
That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
