I don't really want to get into details, but I could use some prayers for my health. I've always had problems with chronic fatigue, but it's getting a lot worse now every single day. I've come to realize that is usually a signal that I'm about to go through a major shift in my overall mood. I'm also becoming hyper-sensitive to sound which is another signal. I've started noticing other little things over the last couple of weeks too.
The last time I had a major shift was last October, and I've been doing rather well ever since.
So if you could please pray first that the shift isn't that bad, if it even happens at all... and second, that if I do go through a shift, that I handle it well.
My friend Mattie is feeling another bad mood shift coming upon him. He is very tired and is praying that this will just go away. Let Your strength and courage come upon him as he faces this coming emotional crisis. May Your peace soothe his mind and body and spirit. Bless him with a bounty of Your love that lifts him above these stormy waves of depression and hurt, and put him upon the Rock that is higher than anything that can come against him. Assure him of your endless love. For in Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.
May God strengthen you for this coming storm. I am going through one myself.
You are in my prayers, I pray that you don't have a "major shift" in your mood. May this just be a minor, passing phase that you will fly though. We're here for you.
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Be yourself!!! Don't try to fit into someone else's mold, you won't fit!!! And that just leads to utter misery!!! Live life to it's fullest in Christ's love every day!!!
Mattie, I'm always here for u. You're in my prayers. *hugs* Love - Darrel
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That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
I just laid down to go to sleep and all of a sudden I totally broke down. It was totally unexpected. My eyes are still red. I want this all to go away. I can't handle it much longer. I don't know how I can get through an entire life time going through this. It's more than I can handle!
I feel crippled and disabled. I have no more dreams or aspirations. I see no future for myself. My whole life is just one gigantic series of failures. I don't believe I can do anything right. I feel like I have alienated virtually everyone I know. Virtually every friend I've ever had has eventually fallen away. I hate it. I am defeated.
I don't blame myself or anyone else. C'est la vie, right?
I had to get that out.
I'm feeling better this morning. And all of that really seemed to come out of nowhere. Honestly I thought I was doing ok. But it's getting close to 3pm here. I feel exhausted even though I got more than enough sleep last night.
I think what causes me to get overwhelmed like that is that I start looking ahead over my entire life. I start thinking about going through this again, and again, and again. I lose focus on taking life day-by-day.
Matt, we love you! We care about you immensely. You are a good friend to have. I don't see why you think of yourself as a failure. You're not! Talking with you last night helped this very lonely soul a whole lot. I went to bed very much happy and content with myself...and that is something that I haven't felt in WEEKS! All because of YOU!
I, too, often feel like my life is a "failure"...like I have nothing left to offer anyone, and that my existence upon this planet was useless and wasteful. But then I pray and cry out to God for help, and he shows me some of the things that I have done that he has used me for to make this world a better, brighter place to live in. Don't ever compare your life with someone else's...especially someone that the world seems to speak highly of. Trust me, there is a reason why the bible says that "whoever is a friend to the world is an enemy of God". Those people that are "important" and seem to be very successful, are often just a step away from jumping out a 20-story window themselves because they feel like as if life has no purpose for them either. God values EVERY single person in this world the SAME! We are all of the exact same value to him:
"And this is love...not that we loved Him, but that He loved us...And gave up His Son as an offering for our sins." I John 4:10 (my own translation)
You are worth THAT MUCH to God.
And you are ALWAYS "worthy enough" for me to call you my friend!
You all are fantastic! Thank you all so much for your prayers and encouragement. It all means the world to me.
But alas, every time I feel like I'm getting better, well, it turns out that I'm not. I've been knocked back down into a depression and it's really painful. Now I'm just physically exhausted and I had to call in sick today. Please do keep me in your prayers.
You continue to be in my prayers. May you find peace and rest is my prayer.
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Be yourself!!! Don't try to fit into someone else's mold, you won't fit!!! And that just leads to utter misery!!! Live life to it's fullest in Christ's love every day!!!
Help Mattie get through this time of sickness. Be with him and let him feel your supernatural love and grace as he tries to recover from another long "night". Remind him that with each "night", there WILL be a "morning" afterward. Keep him in your perfect peace, and bless him with wonderful rest. Show him that you are never tired of helping him get through each one, and that there is a reason for them. Bless him Lord. For in Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.
I know how it is, my friend. My spirit is with yours. There is always hope.
But it's getting close to 3pm here. I feel exhausted even though I got more than enough sleep last night. 
