It was only a few days ago that I experienced a great blessing from God when I finally got a brand new car. Honestly, I never thought I would have a brand new car that I did cry because I was so happy. One day brings God's blessings and another brings something else.
I don't ask for prayers very often. And I am very uncomfortable to even say what the matter is all about. But I feel terrified and unsure and even though I won't get angry at God or throw in the towel, I feel so scared and so confused and no one can really comprehend my situation. I prayed so hard today that the situation would change, but I am so terrified that it will not. I'm so afraid that I might do something rash. I have cried out to God today and it just seems that God is there but won't acknowledge my prayer. He feels so close and yet I feel so terrified. I can't stop this condition from overtaking me and please don't say with God you can. It just will not work that way. I can't change it anymore that I can change my HIV status. So, I ask everyone, please, please pray for a different direction in my life as soon as possible. I ask that you please pray that God hear my cries and shows me mercy and please change my direction. I can't pray about this on my own anymore.
Steve
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Lamentation 3:24 The Lord is all I have, and so in him I put my hope.
Steve, if you want to talk about it in private, just email me. You know that I will listen and keep it private. I have told you things in confidence, too, so you can trust me. I am also wondering if God is trying to lead me in a different direction with my life.
I could give you all kinds of little quotes about doors and windows closing and opening (respectively) but what you need (and what you asked for) is prayer, and I am giving you that.
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"I'd place myself... oh... somewhere between Galadriel and Peter Griffin."
Guess what? I do feel the same as you do, because I am on the same boat. It really does feel like you are rowing and rowing and getting no where and all you see is even more water of the sea all around you and no relief in sight so you just burst in tears in hurt, frustration, and being all tore up on the inside. You are so sore and tired of it. but you have the inner drive to keep on rowing so you keep on. A vicious cycle. Even when you are beaten into a pulp (the you doesnt mean you, steve, but a person in general.. :))
It does not matter if you explain in the depth, what matters is that God knows so you have my prayers, Steve, my buddy.
((HUGS)) and yes I will cry with you. I hope God will bring you relief with all my might.
Chad
P.S. If you want to talk about it (again you dont have to describe) but if you need to vent, I am here. But I will not tell you to **** it and so forth. I was told this last night and it actually tore me up some more.
STEVE I continue to pray for you on a daily basis- and know that God does hear your cries and knows everything that is going on in your life. I hope you find PEACE of mind and comfort knowing that there are others praying for You. Also, remember there are others who feel much like you do........and seek God's presence in their lives to "calm the troubled waters" daily. This song I heard recently again tells a simple prayer........I'm sharing it with you.
GOD Bless You Jay
Make It Real
I've seen a lot of crazy things done in Your name. I know the tricks behind the magic show. I've almost thrown the towel in a time or two and walked away from everything I know. But I can't fill this emptiness inside of me, Or calm the troubled waters of my mind. So if You're really out there and You're listening Then prove to me that those who seek will find.
If You can just see fit to show me some of who You are. If You can shed some light into this broken sinner's heart. I need to know the truth and I need something I can feel - I need You to make it real.
There must be some good reason why You brought me here. Through valleys where the shadows hover close. Down here, there's a mask to cover every face, But Your sweet face I long to see the most. So if You think there's just the slightest hope for me, In spite of all my questions and my doubts, Then let me hear Your still small voice speak out my name And let me know what others talk about.
If You can just see fit to show me some of who You are. If You can shed some light into this broken sinner's heart. I need to know the truth and I need something I can feel - I need You to make it real.
Performed by MARK LOWRY - written by Suzanne Gaither Jennings.
I want to thank everyone how prayed for me. These last few days have been very trying to my spirit. I almost gave up, but the Holy Spirit held on to me as I was spiritually battered. I can't believe how close I came to just giving up. I am reminded of Lamentations 3:24The Lord is all I have, and so in Him I put my hope. I told myself how I have come to far in my Christian walk to just give up now. I don't have to tell any of you that there are just some days that you think you are not going to make it. A part of you just says just forget it and just let it overtake you and then another part of you says, onward Christian soldier. I don't know what's going to happen over the next few days, but at least I have enough in me to say to myself onward!
Thank you everyone whose prayed for me. And even though I am going through my own trials and sufferings, do not hesitate to ask me for prayers because I know I am not the only one going through some trials right now. I will pray for you as you have prayed for me.
Steve
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Lamentation 3:24 The Lord is all I have, and so in him I put my hope.
Hey, Steve!!! I'm praying for you!! If you ever need to talk, I'm here! :) *big hugs* Love you, my friend!!! Don't give up!
*Christian Hugs* Darrel
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That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
Praise God for what He is doing in your life, too, my friend!
Whenever we face a time of terrible trial, this is the opportunity for God to use and bless us immensely. There is no darkness that can overcome His light and love!
Be yourself!!! Don't try to fit into someone else's mold, you won't fit!!! And that just leads to utter misery!!! Live life to it's fullest in Christ's love every day!!!
